Man Always Thought He’d Waste His Life Differently
MOESBURG, Ok. — A man has come face-to-face with the startling realization that he is, in fact, squandering his life…
Hunter Biden Addresses Allegations with Ukulele
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In the aftermath of Colleen Ballinger’s ukulele song “Toxic Gossip Train,” Hunter Biden, son of President Joe…
Answers to This Year’s ACT Questions Revealed
U.S.A. – After an anonymous whistleblower claimed that the 2023 ACT questions all have to do with social justice and…
Archaeologist Discovers Human Remains 3,000 Years Too Late
CAIRO, Egypt — In a tragic turn of events, renowned archaeologist Dr. Ignatius Whitlock stumbled across an ancient Egyptian tomb…
Easy to Mix Up: Man Mistakes Clock for Scale
MOESBURG, Ok. — In a rather perplexing incident, local pastor Todd Thomas’s journey towards weight loss took an unexpected detour…
PETA Increases Diversity by Hiring BBQ Grill Master as Writer
NORFOLK, Va. — In a shocking move that left vegans and carnivores alike scratching their heads in disbelief, People for…
Baddison Blake Gains 600 Pounds So Fans Can See Her Better Onstage
TULSA, Ok. — In a surprising turn of events, pop star Baddison Blake has gained 500 pounds in an attempt…
Study: People Who Have More Birthdays Tend to Live Longer
In a groundbreaking study conducted by researchers at the renowned Georgia Institute of Longevity Sciences, a compelling correlation has been…
Local Man Expert on Stalking Victim
MOESBURG, Ok. — Stalking can be a terrifying experience that can leave the victim feeling personally attacked and vulnerable. Jennifer…