Marathon Runners Fail to Find Cure for Breast Cancer
JACKSONVILLE, Fl. – – Thousands of runners flooded the streets on Sunday for the National Marathon to Finish Breast Cancer.…
Disney Announces New Star Wars Series in Which Padmé Loses Her Keys
BURBANK, Ca. – – In yet another move to squeeze every last drop from the Star Wars franchise, Disney has…
HSS Allows First-Ever Meat Donors
Washington, D.C., U.S.– As an effort to solve world hunger, American organ donors can now register as meat donors, allowing…
Buckingham Palace: “Yes, Princess Kate Is Very Healthy and We Have Photos to Prove It”
BUCKINGHAM PALACE, U.K. — In a bid to silence incessant rumors about the health of the Catherine, Princess of Wales,…
Study Reveals Why Celebrities Are Famous
HOLLYWOOD, Ca. — A recent study conducted by the National Institute of Culture Analysis has shed light on the origins…
All Non-Morbidly Obese People Now Considered “In Shape”
ATLANTA. Ga. — To adjust for the large share of obese Americans, the CDC has declared all non-morbidly obese people…
Libertarians Propose Bill to Abolish Road Rules
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move toward ultimate freedom on the road, libertarians have proposed a bill for various changes…
Disney Makes Inclusive Bambi Remake in Which Both Bambi’s Moms Die
HOLLYWOOD, Ca. — Disney has announced their newest remake: this one a remake of the classic Bambi, in which a…
Weatherman Predicts 100% Chance of Sunrise
MOESBURG, Ok. — In an astonishing feat of meteorological accuracy, local weatherman Jim Atkinson has managed to accurately predict one…