Disney Announces New Star Wars Series in Which Padmé Loses Her Keys
BURBANK, Ca. – – In yet another move to squeeze every last drop from the Star Wars franchise, Disney has…
HSS Allows First-Ever Meat Donors
Washington, D.C., U.S.– As an effort to solve world hunger, American organ donors can now register as meat donors, allowing…
Buckingham Palace: “Yes, Princess Kate Is Very Healthy and We Have Photos to Prove It”
BUCKINGHAM PALACE, U.K. — In a bid to silence incessant rumors about the health of the Catherine, Princess of Wales,…
Study Reveals Why Celebrities Are Famous
HOLLYWOOD, Ca. — A recent study conducted by the National Institute of Culture Analysis has shed light on the origins…
All Non-Morbidly Obese People Now Considered “In Shape”
ATLANTA. Ga. — To adjust for the large share of obese Americans, the CDC has declared all non-morbidly obese people…
Libertarians Propose Bill to Abolish Road Rules
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move toward ultimate freedom on the road, libertarians have proposed a bill for various changes…
Disney Makes Inclusive Bambi Remake in Which Both Bambi’s Moms Die
HOLLYWOOD, Ca. — Disney has announced their newest remake: this one a remake of the classic Bambi, in which a…
Weatherman Predicts 100% Chance of Sunrise
MOESBURG, Ok. — In an astonishing feat of meteorological accuracy, local weatherman Jim Atkinson has managed to accurately predict one…
Physicist Discovers Secret to Time Travel, but Can Only Go Forward at Regular Speed
Geneva, SWITZERLAND — Many have long dreamed of the power of time travel, but a Swiss physicist believes he has…