New Law Requires Politicians to Wear Lie Detector Vests, Technology Overwhelmed
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Politicians lie. This is a well-known fact. In an attempt to bring transparency to the world of…
Unemployed Man Achieves Ideal Work-Life Balance
MOESBURG, Ok. — For many of us, a healthy work-life balance seems like a far-off dream. But for local resident…
Scientists Warn Breathing Oxygen Linked to 100% Mortality Rate
LONDON, England, U.K. — In a recent study conducted by researchers at the London School for the Socially Unacceptable, a…
Ancestry.com Adds “Oppressed and Marginalized Minority” as Ethnicity Estimate on DNA Tests
Ancestry.com has announced their latest update to their DNA test results – the addition of a new ethnicity category: “Oppressed…
Average Number of Languages Spoken Per American Drops to 0.8
U.S.A. — In a depressing development for this nation, the linguistic prowess of Americans has hit an all-time low, with…
Child Collector Facing Backlash for Controversial Hobby
MOESBURG, Ok. — Meet Charles Kaufman, a self-proclaimed child collector. His collection currently boasts of 230 children, a world record…
Catholic with Celiac Believes Communion Bread Safe for Consumption after Becoming Literal Body of Christ
MOESBURG, Ok. — In a display of unwavering faith and undying optimism, a Catholic with celiac disease has astounded medical…
Tired of Being Mistaken for Your Co-Worker? Try This
Are you constantly bombarded with remarks like, “Hey, I thought you were Mike from the editorial staff!” or “Wait, are…
Community Uses Local Child’s Disappearance as an Excuse to Have a Fun Karaoke Night
MOESBURG, Ok. — In a heartwarming display of unity and selflessness, our small town of Moesburg came together to search…