Sandwich Chain Adds Shocking New Ingredient
U.S.A. — In an unprecedented move to redefine the boundaries of health and innovation in the fast food industry, the…
To Appeal to Mormon Audiences, “The Chosen” Will Portray Jesus Visiting the Americas
PROVO, Ut. — It is no secret that Angel Studios has attracted a Mormon audience. In fact, Angel Studios’ founder…
Man Dies of Boredom during Reading of Own Will
MOESBURG, Ok. — A will reading resulted in one fatality due to boredom yesterday afternoon. Ironically, the victim was the…
Man Transitions from Male to Female Because He Doesn’t Think about the Roman Empire Enough to Be a Real Man
MOESBURG, Ok. — Chadifer Dunleavey, formerly known as Chad Dunleavey, has recently come to the realization that he (or she,…
Delusional Man in Church Parking Lot Claims to Be Jesus, Starts New Religion
MOESBURG, Ok. — On Sunday morning at Elm Grove Baptist Church, service was interrupted by a crazed man in the…
Suicide: Punishable by Death?
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a brilliant display of progressive thinking, members of the legislative branch have announced the ultimate solution…
Study Finds Those Who Talk to Plants Happier Than Those Who Talk to People
LONDON, England, U.K. — A recent study has uncovered an unexpected discovery: that conversing with plants leads to higher levels…
National Security Emergency: Somebody Just Leaked the President’s Address
WASHINGTON, DC. — In an astonishing display of modern technological prowess, an anonymous internet sleuth has managed to do what…
Baby Names Made Easy: Having Twins… Again?
Hiram & Byeram Say hello to our first two options, Hiram and Byeram! Everett & Neverett Did you think you…