iPad Most Effective Babysitter
LONDON, England, U.K. — Researchers at the London Institute for Social Research have completed a study showing the iPad to…
Dreams Crushed: Woman Could Have Trained Whole Life to Become Prima Ballerina, but Didn’t
MOESBURG, Ok. — Every December when Amanda Collins goes to see The Nutcracker ballet, she imagines herself performing flawless pirouettes…
Accidents Caused by BeReal
MOESBURG, Ok. — A spree of phone-induced accidents is becoming increasingly rampant among Moesburg teenagers. The culprit seems to be…
Sandwich Chain Adds Shocking New Ingredient
U.S.A. — In an unprecedented move to redefine the boundaries of health and innovation in the fast food industry, the…
To Appeal to Mormon Audiences, “The Chosen” Will Portray Jesus Visiting the Americas
PROVO, Ut. — It is no secret that Angel Studios has attracted a Mormon audience. In fact, Angel Studios’ founder…
Man Dies of Boredom during Reading of Own Will
MOESBURG, Ok. — A will reading resulted in one fatality due to boredom yesterday afternoon. Ironically, the victim was the…
Man Transitions from Male to Female Because He Doesn’t Think about the Roman Empire Enough to Be a Real Man
MOESBURG, Ok. — Chadifer Dunleavey, formerly known as Chad Dunleavey, has recently come to the realization that he (or she,…
Delusional Man in Church Parking Lot Claims to Be Jesus, Starts New Religion
MOESBURG, Ok. — On Sunday morning at Elm Grove Baptist Church, service was interrupted by a crazed man in the…
Suicide: Punishable by Death?
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a brilliant display of progressive thinking, members of the legislative branch have announced the ultimate solution…