Local Child Convicted of Neglect of Imaginary Friend
MOESBURG, Ok. – – In a first-of-its-kind ruling, 7-year-old Olivia Mendizabal was found guilty Thursday of child neglect – not…
Local Hospital Offers Two-for-One Deal on Amputations
MOESBURG, Ok. – – In what administrators are calling an “unprecedented promotion,” St. Todd’s Hospital has announced a limited-time two-for-one…
Weatherman Predicts 100% Chance of Sunrise
MOESBURG, Ok. — In an astonishing feat of meteorological accuracy, local weatherman Jim Atkinson has managed to accurately predict one…
Family Reunites from Across Country to Stare at Screens Together
MOESBURG, Ok. — Every Christmas, the extended Kidwelly family returns home to Moesburg at the Grandma and Grandpa Kidwelly residence.…
Dreams Crushed: Woman Could Have Trained Whole Life to Become Prima Ballerina, but Didn’t
MOESBURG, Ok. — Every December when Amanda Collins goes to see The Nutcracker ballet, she imagines herself performing flawless pirouettes…
Accidents Caused by BeReal
MOESBURG, Ok. — A spree of phone-induced accidents is becoming increasingly rampant among Moesburg teenagers. The culprit seems to be…
Man Dies of Boredom during Reading of Own Will
MOESBURG, Ok. — A will reading resulted in one fatality due to boredom yesterday afternoon. Ironically, the victim was the…
Man Transitions from Male to Female Because He Doesn’t Think about the Roman Empire Enough to Be a Real Man
MOESBURG, Ok. — Chadifer Dunleavey, formerly known as Chad Dunleavey, has recently come to the realization that he (or she,…
Delusional Man in Church Parking Lot Claims to Be Jesus, Starts New Religion
MOESBURG, Ok. — On Sunday morning at Elm Grove Baptist Church, service was interrupted by a crazed man in the…