New Law Requires Politicians to Wear Lie Detector Vests, Technology Overwhelmed
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Politicians lie. This is a well-known fact. In an attempt to bring transparency to the world of…
Average Number of Languages Spoken Per American Drops to 0.8
U.S.A. — In a depressing development for this nation, the linguistic prowess of Americans has hit an all-time low, with…
Biden Announces Next First Lady Will Be a Black Woman
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Brace yourself, America, for another groundbreaking promise from President Joe Biden! After already vowing to rebuild infrastructure,…
Sun-Maid Announces Girl on Raisin Box Has Skin Cancer
FRESNO, Ca. — Sun-Maid raisins has made a jaw-dropping announcement that has left the world reeling. The beloved girl on…
Greg Casar Embarks on Drag Strike
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After his nearly nine-hour thirst strike in protest of a Texas bill, U.S. Representative Greg Casar is…
Hunter Biden Addresses Allegations with Ukulele
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In the aftermath of Colleen Ballinger’s ukulele song “Toxic Gossip Train,” Hunter Biden, son of President Joe…
Answers to This Year’s ACT Questions Revealed
U.S.A. – After an anonymous whistleblower claimed that the 2023 ACT questions all have to do with social justice and…
Woke Businesses Struggling To Install Restrooms To Accommodate All 483 Genders
U.S.A. — Woke businesses across the nation are reportedly struggling both spatially and financially. Many of the businesses are finding…
Study Estimates That “Baby On Board” Bumper Stickers Save Approximately 700 Lives Per Year
U.S.A. — We’ve all seen the “Baby on Board” bumper stickers on the backs of cars that warn other drivers…