HOLLYWOOD, Ca. —
A recent study conducted by the National Institute of Culture Analysis has shed light on the origins of celebrities’ fame. Contrary to conventional beliefs about work and talent, the research suggests that that a majority of celebrities achieve fame via two primary methods: “making a fool of themselves” or “doing pretty much nothing.”
The study, which analyzed the backgrounds of over 500 celebrities across the entertainment and social media fields, found that a significant portion of them lacked notable achievements or talents before gaining fame. Instead, they would follow one of two trajectories: either making questionable decisions that would normally lead to the butchering of their career and personal lives, or simply possessing an attractive body, whether by pure genetics or cosmetic procedures.
One can easily look for examples of these methods. Danielle Bregoli (more commonly known as Bhad Bhabie), for example, gained fame from a Dr. Phil appearance in a segment titled “I Want to Give Up My Car-Stealing, Knife-Wielding, Twerking, 13-Year-Old Daughter Who Tried to Frame Me for a Crime.” Bregoli since utilized her fame to create a lucrative rap career. Much like Bregoli, Emma Stone’s career began in a dubious manner. Before her career took off, Stone blackmailed the casting director of Easy A and then proceeded to kidnap the casting director’s family at gunpoint on the condition that she would let them go if she landed the lead role. Another example is Brad Pitt, who murdered six people in a drunken rage after losing a solitaire game and was only cast in his first major film after the casting director took one look at his mugshot and knew Pitt had potential to make it big in Hollywood.
On the other hand, there is TikTok star Baddison Blake, who gained popularity for lip-syncing, scrunching up her face for the camera, and dancing mediocrity. Like Baddison Blake, Taylor Swift also gained popularity for lip-syncing to songs sung by her less-attractive secret twin. And that does not even begin to cover boring, untalented people who only got famous because of their parents are famous, such as Paris Hilton and Jaden Smith.
One unique occurrence observed by the study is the case of Kim Kardashian, who gained fame by both methods, as she leaked a racy tape of herself and then proceeded to gain immeasurable levels of fame by having her family’s lives filmed and edited onto a reality television show. This proves that the two methods are not mutually exclusive, as one can gain fame by simultaneously committing social and career suicide while doing nothing remarkable at all.
The study’s lead researcher, Dr. Frank McCasland, commented on the findings with a final remark, simply stating, “I have never wanted to kill myself so badly as I do at this moment.”