NORFOLK, Va. — 

In a shocking move that left vegans and carnivores alike scratching their heads in disbelief, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) has made a baffling decision to hire a BBQ grill master as one of their writers. Yes, you read that correctly. PETA, the organization known for its staunch opposition to all things meat-related, has apparently decided to increase their ideological diversity by bringing in a person with expertise in the art of barbecuing. 

PETA’s decision to bring on board a BBQ grill master can only be described as a stroke of genius. After all, what better way to foster dialogue and bridge the gap between the vegans and the meat enthusiasts than by having a proponent of flame-licked meats within their ranks? It’s a move that will surely lead to profound discussions, sizzling debates, and potentially some mouth-watering cook-offs. 

In a press release, PETA spokesperson Alice Vega defended the controversial decision, stating, “Diversity is our greatest strength. We believe in embracing diverse perspectives, even if they involve grilling animals over an open flame. By having a BBQ grill master on our team, we can explore new avenues for discussion and challenge our own beliefs. Plus, we’re really looking forward to some killer tofu kebabs at our office parties.” 

This move has caused quite the stir within PETA’s ranks. Some members have questioned the organization’s commitment to its core principles, while others enjoy the new lunchroom cuisine. The BBQ grill master, who goes by the name of Smokin’ Sam, is thrilled to be part of the team and hopes to use his expertise to introduce more meat-based grilling options to the masses. 

This is a large step of progress for corporate diversity. Smokin’ Sam is also from Texas, a state that is underrepresented in the vegan community. However, there is still a lot of room for improvement, as it is reported that 90% of the current editorial staff opposes eating animals.

Only time will tell if PETA’s decision to hire a BBQ grill master as a writer will lead to genuine change or if it will go up in smoke like an overcooked burger. One thing is for sure, though: the world of animal rights activism just got a whole lot more interesting, and the scent of sizzling animal flesh is now wafting through the halls of PETA’s headquarters.