MOESBURG, Ok. — 

A will reading resulted in one fatality due to boredom yesterday afternoon. Ironically, the victim was the one whose will was being read. 

As the attorney began to list Carr’s assets and the distribution of such assets to his many heirs, Carr’s eyes began to glaze over. Eyewitnesses reported the deceased gradually losing interest, stifling yawns as the minutes turned into hours. At one point in the reading, Mr. Carr was heard mumbling that he wasn’t sure if he was in purgatory or a never-ending legal seminar. Unbeknownst to those present, boredom reached its peak, and Mr. Carr was finally discovered lifeless in his chair. 

Experts suggest that Mr. Carr’s boredom reached levels even above that of the average woman with her husband at a football game. Witnesses claimed that even the dust on the desk seemed more animated than Carr. 

Despite the initial shock, most of the heirs soon found themselves pleased at their inheritance, which arrived much sooner than expected.