MOESBURG, Ok. — 

Local man Jacob Brighton has recently made the decision to quit his steady job and embark on a new career path – one that involves doing the exact same job, but for different people. While most individuals would consider this a colossal waste of time and energy, Brighton has apparently discovered the secret formula to eternal job satisfaction and endless monotony. 

In a press conference we set up at a local Starbucks, Brighton explained his motivation: “I’ve always felt a deep calling to embrace the mundane and repetitive aspects of life. It’s as if God himself was whispering to me, ‘Jacob, go forth and perform the same tasks for countless strangers.’ And who am I to defy the will of God?”