MOESBURG, Ok. —

Jimmy Stevens, a 4th grader at Moe’s Elementary School, has discovered the cure for hiccups. In math class, his friend Susie Thompson contracted a case of the hiccups, and after trying “all the cures,” Stevens covered her head with a plastic bag. When it was discovered that Thompson was, in fact, dead, the teacher punished Stevens by making him stand in the corner. Stevens pointed out that he was merely doing Thompson a favor and that her hiccups were gone. It was then that Stevens realized he could help countless people afflicted with hiccups. For the past few days, he has gone around town with his father’s shotgun helping anyone he hears hiccupping. What an inspirational hero.