WASHINGTON, D.C. — 

In a move toward ultimate freedom on the road, libertarians have proposed a bill for various changes in driving laws, including replacing stop signs with “stop suggestions,” replacing speed limits with “speed suggestions,” and removing laws prohibiting driving under the influence. Advocates argue that this move aligns firmly with American values, promoting individual freedom and personal responsibility on the roads. 

According to the proposed legislation, drivers would now be encouraged, rather than required, to stop at intersections. Proponents believe this change is a step in the right direction towards personal freedom, while critics argue that the right to life is at stake. 

In an official statement, the Libertarian Driving Initiative (LDI) defended their proposal, claiming that removing the oppressive nature of stop signs, speed limits, and laws prohibiting driving under the influence. LDI argues that drivers, when left to their own inhibitions, will aggressively fight for their own interests with a shared sense of self-centeredness, akin to a free-market approach to traffic management. 

“No government shall infringe upon my God-given right to drink and drive,” said LDI spokesman Marshall Perry. “That’s all I have to say about that.”