LONDON, England, U.K. — 

Researchers at the London Institute for Social Research have completed a study showing the iPad to be the most effective babysitter. While only 27% of human babysitters report being able to get children to behave and 48% of TV babysitters are able to subdue the children, iPad babysitters have a 92% success rate. 

Research suggests that the iPad’s captivating screen and colorful apps bombard children with stimuli, rendering them mesmerized for extended periods of time. By keeping the child both entertained and passively active, the iPad is able to effectively hypnotize the child, ensuring that they do not engage in normal annoying behaviors such as playing with others and making messes. 

Unlike human babysitters, the iPad never tires, never requires a break, and the only pay they require is the upfront bill at the Apple store and the monthly internet bill. iPads never call in sick, ask for raises, or bring their personal drama into your home. Television, on the other hand, fails to keep young children engaged and sitting in front of the screen. It lacks a deeply addictive nature such as that of the iPad, and while it is more effective than human babysitters, it remains far less effective than the iPad. 

The iPad emerges as the ultimate babysitting solution, leaving human supervision in the dust. Bid farewell to your children being raised by sentient beings – when it comes to childcare, the iPad reigns supreme.