Ancestry.com has announced their latest update to their DNA test results – the addition of a new ethnicity category: “Oppressed and Marginalized Minority” (also known as OMM).  In a move that can only be described as marketing genius, the company has managed to make your genealogy report not only more colorful, but also more politically charged. 

Gone are the days of mundane ancestry estimates like “37% Irish,” “44% Japanese,” and “19% Indigenous Americas.” Ancestry.com has boldly gone where no genealogy company has gone before by introducing the OMM category, allowing you to embrace your newfound status as a member of a group that has apparently been marginalized for centuries. Finally, you can add an extra layer of social justice to family gatherings! 

Of course, skeptics may question how Ancestry.com has managed to discern this elusive OMM gene from the tangled strands of DNA. Is there a specific oppression gene? Or perhaps a marginalization marker? Rest assured, the company’s scientists have worked tirelessly to come up with an algorithm that takes your family history, societal trends, and affinity for kombucha into account to calculate your OMM percentage. 

Critics might argue that this new update is merely a marketing ploy to capitalize on the current political climate. But let’s be real, when have corporations ever exploited social issues for their own gain? And surely,  this new ethnicity estimate is not a way to distract from the fact that the accuracy of these DNA tests is still a topic of debate among scientists. 

Families would have sat around the table saying things like, “58% Irish? But we’re German!” or “Grandma was Jewish, and there’s no Jewish on here!” or “It says I’m 100% European, but I’m black!” The company has eluded criticism by providing validating proportions of oppression so all their customers (except for the 0% OMMs) are satisfied. 

So if you’re ready to add a dash of oppression to your family tree, head on over to Ancestry.com and get your very own ethnicity estimate. After all, the most meaninful aspect of your family history is a colorful pie chart that tells you exactly how you have been historically wronged.