WORLDWIDE —

The famous Neil Diamond song “Sweet Caroline” is drawing sharp criticism from the worldwide community of Carolines. We at the Moesburg Times decided to interview this long line of Carolines to see why. 

“I don’t want anyone tasting me to see if I’m sweet or not. I call that sensual harassment.” – Caroline B. 

“I get it, you can’t say Spicy Caroline because if she’s Hispanic, that’s a racist stereotype, and if she isn’t, then it’s cultural appropriation. So, I guess Sweet Caroline is the next-best thing.” -Caroline G. 

“If ’m going to die, I don’t want people to remember me as Sweet Caroline. I prefer Bitter Caroline or Sour Caroline, and I wouldn’t be mad if you called me Salty Caroline. Heck, even Savory Caroline would do.” –Caroline M. 

“It’s a good song, but the only thing wrong with it is that it’s spelled wrong.” 

-Karoline S.